From a rooftop garden in London.
It’s been a hot and humid summer from the very beginning this year (not my fave kind of weather). Thankfully, I got a bit of a respite from the heat while I was in Europe in early June (which will hopefully be a whole other post soon because…hello?! Europe!!), but when I came back, it was just as hot and humid as ever. Even though the heat isn’t my favorite, I love summer because, for me, it means: a long break from work and LOTS of freedom with my time to be with friends and family and doing whatever strikes my fancy.
This summer, while it’s been filled with fun and laughter and rest, has felt heavy in some ways. Whenever I get on social media or see a news report, I see tragedy and injustice all over the world. There is so much hardship and suffering going on, and it often feels too heavy to witness it all.
And the truth is, it is too heavy. I’m reminded that we were not meant to be exposed to all of the turmoil and violence and corruption in the world through a 24/7 news cycle. Our brains and our bodies cannot contain it all.
But I also recognize that it’s a privilege to be able to look away from it all. To ignore what’s going on. To pretend like it’s not happening because it doesn’t directly affect me (or so I think).
There’s a tension here. What are we to do? Perhaps it’s not an “either/or,” but a “yes/and.” Yes, there’s so much injustice and evil in the world that I want (and need) to be aware of and informed about, and I need to make sure I am taking care of myself in the midst of it. Not just to selfishly look away, but in order to help bring peace and hope to people — out of the peace and hope I have within me.
One of my favorite writers/humans, Shannan Martin, calls this having counterweights:
“A counterweight is anything that helps keep us upright against the strain of everything that hurts in this world and our lives. It means we acknowledge that while there's a lot we can't control, there's also a lot we CAN control. … [to] remind myself that beauty exists everywhere and it keeps us soft in a hard world. I can spend time with my sister and nephew, stalking thrift stores and eating toastadas on the patio. I can watch my grandson swim. I can hoard baby pinecones found on a crumbling sidewalk. All of these things return me to myself so that I can KEEP GOING in the quest for awareness and the fight for justice. It's not about money or being bougie. It's about taking a pause. Noticing the sky. Eating the blackberries while they're still warm from the sun. It's about laughing when we're able. Watching Olympics highlights. Reading one more chapter of a book.”
(Side note: I just found out Shannan’s writing a new book called Counterweights, set to release in March 2026! Hello, pre-order for $11.39!)
I have this internal desire to engage with issues going on in the U.S. (and around the world). As someone who studied Psychology and Sociology in college, I want to understand what is behind peoples’ behaviors and motivations — not just on an individual level, but at a societal and cultural level. What causes movements? What convinces groups of people to believe things even when they’re proven false? Why do we demonize others for their differing opinions? How can we call out wrongs in one group but sweep the same exact behaviors under the rug when it happens within our “camp”?
Honestly, it’s not good for me to keep all of these thoughts and questions inside. They can weigh on me and send me into a bit of a spiral once in a while. Rather, I want (need) to let it out in healthy ways that help and don't harm. Many of the issues that weigh on me are controversial (whether some of them should be or not is another question). And I know I can’t please everyone, as much as I want to, so I know that speaking about certain issues may cause conflict.
This summer, alongside a few friends, I’ve been studying the Sermon on the Mount that Jesus gave to his followers. (I don’t think there is a more timely section of Scripture to be reading right now!) As a supplemental resource, I’ll often listen to the Bible Project’s podcast episodes that correlate with the passage I’m reading. (Holy moly — it’s good stuff!)
One particular episode discussed Matthew 5:38-42 (which is the section on turning the other cheek, giving up your coat to the one who asks for your shirt, and going the extra mile — read it!), and I was completely floored by a thought they shared about being a peacemaker. When we think of peacemakers, we often think of gentle, meek people trying to bring harmony to a situation or environment. But what I don’t often think about is that in order to make peace, we have to enter into conflict, into places and situations that don’t have peace yet.
Over the years, I’ve learned that one of my core desires is to have both internal and external peace — peace within myself and peace in my relationships with others (aka no conflict plz). But that often means that, in order to obtain true peace, I have to enter into conflict, rather than avoid it. Not to be argumentative or contrarian or antagonistic, but because it’s the only way to sow seeds of peace and justice and love, all of which are attributes that describe Jesus. And I want to reflect him.
The question is: how? How can I enter conflict, in order to bring peace, with humility and generosity to those around me? I think, ultimately, this comes through conversations with people in real life as much as possible. But what about online? For a long time, I have battled with what to share/re-post on social media when it comes to politics and controversial issues. Is it helpful? What is my motive? What is the goal for me to bring up controversial issues or to share my opinions with people who may disagree (passionately)? Am I doing harm if it makes relationships awkward? Or is it entering into the conflict in order to bring peace? I think it depends on how it’s done — what words I use, my tone, my willingness to listen to others, having an attitude of humility and openness and, above all, love.
Is it better to stay quiet? I think there’s a time for everything, “a time to be silent and a time to speak” (Ecclesiastes 3:7b). It takes wisdom to discern when the right time is. So, sometimes I’ll post and share lots of things (hopefully with discernment and wisdom, though I’m just a human and mess it up sometimes). And other times, I won’t post and share, which hopefully is also due to discernment and wisdom — as well as the fact that sometimes life is so full that social media is on the back burner (which is never a bad thing!).
[TANGENT: And, by the way, when did we start feeling like we have to post our thoughts on social media to prove we care about certain things? Maybe not everyone feels this, but I do sometimes. But also, if we have opportunity to do good, even if it’s online, shouldn’t we? Is social media the “right” way to share? (That’s a whole other conversation for another time!)]
My biggest takeaway from the podcast episode I mentioned above was this question: How can we reflect the justice and generosity of God that exposes injustice and that can affect real change on a relational level?
That’s what I’m mulling over these days, in light of all that’s going on in my country and in the world. I can’t change everything, I can’t fix everything. But that doesn’t mean we despair. That doesn’t mean we do nothing. What I can do is bring light and love and care and hope to the people around me — and, as the brilliant Sharon McMahon says:
What have I been into lately?
Books:
CURRENTLY READING: The God of the Woods by Liz Moore
Thoughts: I’m about halfway through this mystery, and it’s getting good! However, I have to regularly update a note in my phone to keep track of all of the characters (too many, imo).
RECENTLY FINISHED: Becoming the Pastor's Wife: How Marriage Replaced Ordination as a Woman's Path to Ministry by Beth Allison Barr
My Review: Excellent. Thought-provoking. Well-researched, per usual for Beth Allison Barr. I wish there was required reading for all Christians because, if that were the case, this should be on the list. My only minor complaints were more personal tastes/preferences. First, I got a bit bogged down with some of the Medieval history (not my thing, though this book helped! And, obviously, she is a Medieval historian, so…). And, secondly, as someone who has never been a part of an SBC church (though I have been a part of 2 Baptist churches that were basically SBC), I would have personally liked to expand beyond that particular movement. Overall, incredibly grateful for her work. So much important stuff here!
TV/Movies:
RECENTLY FINISHED: The Bear, Season 4
Thoughts: Of course I binged this in, like, 3 nights. The Bear has become one of my all-time favorite shows. And while I felt that season 3 was lacking, season 4 came back better than the previous season — though nothing can top season 1. Carmy forever. Let it rip.
CURRENTLY WATCHING: Love Island (UK). Don’t judge me.
Podcasts:
That Makes Total Sense! Episode 309 — Karen Swallow Prior: This was such an interesting conversation for me, personally, and as a school counselor who has regular conversations with teenagers about their plans for after high school. Karen has a new book coming out in a few weeks (also available for pre-order for $13.19!) called You Have a Calling: Finding Your Vocation in the True, Good, and Beautiful. Obviously, it’s about vocations, but also about your passions, jobs you may or may not love, and finding your calling. How are these similar and how are they different? Are there common themes among the different jobs you’ve had? What do you think your calling is? Looking forward to reading this book!
Here’s Where it Gets Interesting: Poverty in America with Matthew Desmond: Matthew Desmond is basically my Sociology Professor crush. Ever since I read his book, Evicted, and then heard him on Armchair Expert, I have been hooked. He’s brilliant and compassionate. I recently bought his newest book, Poverty in America, and hope to get into it soon! This particular episode is on Sharon McMahon’s podcast. Sharon and Matthew talking together about poverty in America?! You know you need to listen to this!
The Rebirth In Music: Why God is Back in the Charts: This is a LONG episode, but it’s great if you have a long car ride. If you’re a music fan and interested in how faith interconnects with music, you’d probably find this episode interesting. We’re not talking Contemporary Christian Music (thankfully); rather, we’re talking about musical artists who bring elements of Christianity into their songs in beautiful ways that aren’t forced or cringey. From U2 to Bob Dylan to Mumford & Sons to Kendrick Lamar, this episode crosses genres, decades, and countries while examining the recent growth of the sacred in secular music.
That’s all, folks. Hope you enjoyed my long-winded ramblings!
XOXO,
Erin